Spencer Lacrosse London

London's premiere lacrosse club for players of all abilities

League: Spencer 10 - 6 Reading Wildcats

At the start of the season the sparrow massive knew what they wanted. The vision was clear. Nothing would suffice other than back-to-back victory in the league and cup. Looking at the league and depending on what version of the rules you believe, the possibility of success might be out of our hands. Also with a tough semi-final in the cup, it is obvious that the team are not where we envisioned at this point in the season. But the vision of success hasn’t changed, it is simply the means to which the goal can be achieved that has altered.

With players injured, leaving, joining, parental birthdays, almost inaccessible venues, training, the worst flooding since the Ark took float and differing levels of sobriety the goal posts for the season are constantly changing (sometimes in our favour). To be successful, teams have to adapt to new challenges to achieve their goals. The required adaption relies on a level of understanding and familiarity in order to be effective on an individual and team level. The question is, have we got what it takes to adapt to the new challenges and seize the opportunity to take the league and cup?

I’m not going to dwell on the individual and team characteristics required to adapt and win. I simply have a feeling that you will all agree an empty trophy cupboard at the end of the season will be an opportunity missed and a disappointment to each of us, the team and Spencer’s Mum.


This week Spencer are playing technically at home, but actually away. You can blame the change of location on the weatherman. It is a well known truth that weathermen are immortal quasi-magical beings who don’t predict the weather but create it. Using their TV map to actually conjure meteorological concoctions with their hands to inflict upon us mere mortals. In this case to washout the lacrosse season. Bloody wankers.

After travelling to Spencer’s home from home that is Reading the game started in the usual way this season with the opposition taking the lead. The slack start was probably due to the continued amazement that Jonny “guiding light” Clark got the team to the ground well ahead of time. I’m putting it down to Rob “nasty man” Holmes telling him the face-off time was two hours earlier than actually planned. Good thinking Rob.

As in some games this season the Sparrows started to fight back and score to start to dictate the outcome. The team started gelling better and running some plays which started opening up the defence. Dan “Holmes makes me ashamed to be in attack” Mackem, Joe “Rob uses such vulgar and repugnant language and I can’t drive” Darkins and Rob “potty mouth” Holmes all started scoring goals to bring the game back into contention.

Spencer were benefiting on two fronts. One being the more systematic approach in attack that provided the movement to unsettle the opposition defence to score some easy goals. The second being the lack of movement in the Reading attack.

However, Reading were still being a threat and scoring some goals. That is apart from poor old Colin. Based on his performance the Reading Yoo-S-A man has similar characteristics to Samson and the lack of flowing locks has taken all his powers. That, or Jonny “such language Holmes!” Clark had been practicing chopping down American Spruce all week in preparation for his favourite showdown.

Colin leaving to go back to the states will be like Sarah Connor (in this case Jonny Clark) waving goodbye to the Terminator (Colin) in T2 with a tear in her eye as he’s lowered into the flames. Once such enemies, but their relationship has grown through understanding with a delicate and soft yet rough and unbounded respect. Beautiful to witness.

Chris “do they always treat the ref like this on the firsts?” Jones, Spencer “The British are so disrepectful” Rhiel were both solid at the back and stopped all the threats. Tom “I’ve never heard such language” Leahy actually opened the scoring for Spencer and extended the lead in the Leahy vs. Clark season scoring bonanza. All the defence were as solid as Type 1 (see Bristol Scale for reference).

A big part of the day was the improvement in transition by the midfield. Rob “They would never allow that in Rugby” Arnott, Sam “Holmes didn’t learn that at Poynton” Davidson, Tim “I’d have sent Rob off” Holdsworth, Cam “I’m too young to hear such words” Leslie, Sacha “They didn’t say things like that at Hillcroft” Stout were all impressive in their attack and endless running. Especially with Cam picking up important goals and winning man of the match….again.

Rick “I’m not sure whats worse, Joe’s driving or Rob’s obscenities” Bone was instrumental again in goal, making a number of important saves. There was an impressive round the back pass as well to show his continued flair.

However the game was partially overshadowed. The moment which caught people’s attention was the blatant set of obscenities pouring out to achieve a back-to-back unsportsmanlike behaviour call. Rob ‘I lack respect’ Holmes would embarrassed even the most extreme and vulgar touretts sufferer resulted in the two minute call at a watershed moment in the game. It was reassuring that after his punishment the game returned to its usual calmness and rationality which allowed Spencer to take the victory. Such a shame that a great occasion could be scarred by the acts of a single person hell bent on abusing the ref.

The game finished 10-6 and it always feels great to walk away with a victory. It was then on to the pub for Joe ‘unsportsmanlike driving’ to almost crash his missus’ car. Rob ‘surprise dick-of-the-day’ Holmes managed to redeem himself by finishing his pint first. Then Joe ‘is that a two dimensional potato?!’ Darkins had a lovely baked potato with cheese which looked like it had been attacked by an angry elephant. Great choice based on the internal and external ambiance of the fine three Shitellin Star ‘The Sportsman’ pub. That must be why people travel from all over the world to taste its delicacies. To be fair, everyone else seemed to be enjoying themselves. Note to self, don’t be a complete twat and man-up and order some proper food. Cock.

Next week Spencer will take up a new fusion-sport in an effort to stay sharp. Get your sticks and kayak for kaya-lax taking part at your local flooded farm/gloucester village. I just hope that Rob’s verbal assaults will curtail along with the rain so we can get back to some sort of normality.

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